I got married recently, and I previously asked you about my wish to have only two children, for example. One month ago my wife had her first baby by caesarean. She developed gestational diabetes during pregnancy, which had a great impact on her food and diet, and she needed to take insulin daily for three months. When I previously asked you about not wanting to have more children in present-day circumstances, in which eighty percent of children have bad attitudes and bad upbringings, because of society and satellite channels, although all the hadiths speak of the virtue of having many children, you told me: I cannot be certain that they will be bad. But in fact you gave me a guarantee that they would not be evildoers! If we understood the hadiths about having lots of children as you explain them, then there would be twenty of children in every household. Were the households of the Sahaabah and Taabi‘een like that? I know that the fatwas say that it is permissible to delay a second pregnancy for a few years, such as in the circumstances mentioned, but I want a solution that an ordinary wife could cope with. Am I to understand that it is obligatory to have a lot of children, and for the wife to spend nine months being pregnant, a year breastfeeding, another nine months pregnant, another year breastfeeding, and so on, until she has twenty children throughout her life, because if we stop having children when we have ten children, then the fatwas will not accept this, so long as it does not harm the mother? We all know how difficult it is to raise children properly nowadays. Doesn’t the wife have the right to be able to give a proper upbringing to two or three children only for fifteen years of the marriage, for example? Or is it obligatory for her to produce ten children during that time? I am not objecting to the texts, but I want to understand the hadiths in a logical manner. Why didn’t the Sahaabah and Taabi‘een have twenty children from one wife? Isn’t it unjust towards the wife to make her a child-producing and breastfeeding machine, when it is possible for her to get pregnant every year? How can she be free to teach the children, keep them clean, look after them and tend to them if they get sick? Will the Prophet be proud of our children on the Day of Resurrection, even if their religious commitment is not sound?

Continue reading →

Praise be to Allah

The stepdaughter is the daughter of a wife from someone other than her current husband; she is permanently forbidden in marriage to the man if he has consummated his marriage with her mother. This means that she has become one of his mahrams.

It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah (17/367):

If a man marries a woman and consummates the marriage with her, it becomes permanently forbidden for him to marry one of her daughters or one of the daughters of her sons, no matter how far the line of descent extents, whether she is a daughter from a previous or subsequent husband, because Allah, may He be glorified and exalted) says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Prohibited to you [for marriage] are your mothers… and your step-daughters under your guardianship [born] of your wives unto whom you have gone in”

[an-Nisaa’ 4:23].

The stepdaughter here is the wife’s daughter. A man is regarded as a mahram of the daughters of a woman whom he marries and with whom he consummates the marriage; it becomes permissible for them not to observe hijab in front of him. End quote.

This issue has been discussed previously in the answers to questions no. 20750 and 33711.

With regard to the rights and duties of a stepdaughter and her mother’s husband towards one another, they may be summed up as upholding ties, respecting one another, and treating one another kindly. All Muslims are enjoined to treat their fellow Muslims with kindness, so how about those who become mahrams due to ties through marriage. Undoubtedly they have a greater right to kindness and care than Muslims in general. Continue reading →

Praise be to Allah.

As this world is a stage that leads to the hereafter, in which man is tested to see what he will do, so that he will be requited for it on the Day of Resurrection, what the wise Muslim must do is seek in this world everything that will help him to attain happiness and bliss in the hereafter. The most important help and support is righteous company. That begins with the Muslim society in which he lives, then with choosing pious friends, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) enjoined: “Do not keep company with anyone but a believer.” Narrated by Abu Dawood (4832); classed as hasan (good) by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘.

Then finally he should choose a righteous wife who he hopes will be the best companion to help him attain eternal happiness in paradise with Allah, may He be glorified and exalted.

The righteous wife is one who is good in many aspects.

She is the one who it is thought will guard her chastity and her honour in the husband’s presence and absence, and be diligent with regard to both minor and major issues.

Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husbands) absence what Allah would have them guard”

[an-Nisaa’ 4:34]. Continue reading →

Almighty Allah prohibited killing the soul and aborting children for fear of poverty and need, it is one of the major sins that cause the wrath of the Lord. Almighty Allah says (what can be translated as): “And do not kill your children for fear of poverty. We provide for them and for you. Indeed, their killing is ever a great sin.” (Al-Isra’: 31) The scholars differ regarding the ruling on aborting the fetus before the soul has been breathed into it; i.e. in the fourth month of pregnancy, some of them said it is permissible to have an abortion for a legitimate reason like when the pregnancy is a threat to the mother’s life. This was mentioned by the Hanafi scholars, while the Shafaiah and majority of scholars forbade it. As for abortion after ensoulment, the scholars and fuqaha’ agreed unanimously that it is totally forbidden and regarded a major sin. Continue reading →

When the truth is revealed to you and you stand face to face with it, how long can you refuse to accept it?  How long would you run away denying it? 

There comes a point in your life when you have to break free from all the chains that hold you back from answering the True Call.

It is a moment where nothing else seems significant and equivalent to the call of the Almighty God and His path of freedom, bliss and satisfaction.

All the lies with which you have been living with start fading and your beliefs as a disbeliever fall like a pack of cards.  And what you witness is an Eureka moment, a moment when you realize the truth, when you realize the beauty of Islam. Continue reading →

The coming of a first new baby is a time of excitement and every Muslim mother-to-be eagerly awaits the arrival of this special gift. It is easy to find the latest advice and useful practical tips and information about what to expect of the early weeks of motherhood on a day to day basis from Western books, but because they are bereft of the guidance of Islam, they contain little advice for Muslim Women when it comes coping spiritually with the coming of a baby. Every baby is different and some first time mothers find things quite easy and smooth. But nearly all will have moments when they struggle to reorganize their lives and many have a very trying time if their baby suffers from colic or has trouble settling down or if the birth was complicated and long. There are many things Muslim women can do to make this time as smooth as possible and increase their Eamaan. Continue reading →

An insightful and personal account of why a Western teenage girl would reject the ‘wonders’ of fashion, and want to cover herself in the hijab (veil).

I probably do not fit into the preconceived notion of a “rebel”. I have no visible tattoos and minimal piercing. I do not possess a leather jacket. In fact, when most people look at me, their first thought usually is something along the lines of “oppressed female”. The brave individuals who have mustered the courage to ask me about the way I dress usually have questions like: “Do your parents make you wear that?” or “Don’t you find that really unfair?”

A while back, a couple of girls in Montreal were kicked out of school for dressing like I do. It seems strange that a little piece of cloth would make for such a controversy. Perhaps the fear is that I am harboring an Uzi machine gun underneath it! Of course, the issue at hand is more than a mere piece of cloth. I am a Muslim woman who, like millions of other Muslim women across the globe, chooses to wear a hijab. And the concept of the hijab, contrary to popular opinion, is actually one of the most fundamental aspects of female empowerment. When I cover myself, I make it virtually impossible for people to judge me according to the way I look. I cannot be categorized because of my attractiveness or lack thereof. Compare this to life in today’s society: We are constantly sizing one another up on the basis of our clothing, jewelry, hair and makeup. What kind of depth can there be in a world like this? Continue reading →

AN ACT OF OBEDIENCE

The hijab is an act of obedience to Allah and to his Prophet sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, Allah says in the Qur’an:

“It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have an option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, has indeed strayed in a plain error.” [Al-Qur’an33:36]

Allah also said:

“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc) and not to show off their adornment except what must (ordinarily) appear thereof, that they should draw their veils over their Juyubihinna.” [Al-Qur’an 24:31]

Juyubihinna: The respected scholars from as-salaf as-salih (righteous predecessors) differed whether the veil cover of the body must include the hands and face or not. Today, respected scholars say that the hands and face must be covered. Other respected scholars say it is preferable for women to cover their whole bodies. Continue reading →

As-salamu ‘alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. Alhamdulillah wa’s-salatu wa’s-salamu ‘ala rasulillah, ‘amma ba’ad:

The topic that I was asked to discuss here at McGill University is the elevation of the status of women in Islam. Many, upon hearing the title of this lecture, might assume it to be an oxymoron because the prevalent idea – at least in the West – is that Islam does not elevate the status of women, but that Islam oppresses and suppresses women. So people might find the title in itself to be shocking or a curiosity at least.

In discussing this topic – since it appears to me that this is a mixed audience of Muslims and non-Muslims – I’d like to make my remarks and comments brief. I will take no more than thirty to forty five minutes, and then allow you an opportunity to ask your questions. Perhaps the question and answer session might be more fruitful in addressing specific accusations, understandings or misunderstandings regarding the status of women in Islam. Continue reading →